Last night I couldn't help but be amused watching the traditional media react with "shock and awe" at what they called the "surprise" announcement that Marco Rubio was endorsing Mitt Romney, followed by a collective swoon.
I may be alone on this, but I didn't find it surprising at all. Didn't Rubio merely do what the rest of his party did? Wait until there was no possible hope for an alternative, and then give Mittens the "Well ok then, if that's all we've got, sure....whatever" endorsement, followed by painfully shameless bad enthusiasm acting? It's not like the media hasn't been hounding them on who their pick would be throughout the never ending "Survivor" meets the clown car primary season and debauchery debate-fest. I mean even Jim DeMint, the Tea Bag king (and Rubio mentor, I might add) wouldn't commit because no one candidate lowered the crazy bar enough to his liking. Even he jumped on the establishment bandwagon faster than you could say "Don't Tread On M....oh never mind, screw it, I'm in" once there was no one else left. He knows what side of the bread the government butter is spread on as does Marco, who follows the lead, pretending the endorsement came only after long, thoughtfully deeeeeep, thinking. (Yeah. Right.) Sorry Tea Baggie suckers. Fooled you again!
Marco, Marco, Marco. Come on. We know you want to be the Veep pick even more than you want that whole ethics investigation to go away! We know your real version of the American Dream is gaining a bigger spotlight that comes with a much larger credit card limit. Plus, as much as you profess not to want the job, come on. You've been telling every media outlet that would listen for months: "No, no, (blushing) you flatter me, but no, I wouldn't be interested in being a VP or a President."
And that was all before anybody had even thought to ask you!
So no, I won't be joining in with the next pseudo shakeup announcement from traditional media if and when it when it comes along: Months long predictions that he's "the one," repeatedly declaring him the certain front runner, followed by a mediagasm of epic proportions:
"OMG, OMG, OMG! In a suprise development today, Marco Rubio has been chosen as Romney's running-mate! No one, NO ONE COULD HAVE PREDICTED THIS!"(Yeah, I'm looking at you and your ADD inducing big screens, Wolf Blitzer.)
When you think about it, Rubio as a sidekick running-mate to Romney makes perfect sense. Again, traditional media have twisted themselves into positions that would make professional yogis blush to make Romney and Rubio look as if they were charming and had actual personalities. Dream on. They look like before and after versions of an aging Ken doll, and equally stiff. They're bots, and no amount of media hype or FOX-GOP-TV generated suck-uppage or glowing narrative will make them look human. Not going to happen.
Then let's look at their positions, their "visions" or what have you. Even here, they're the perfect couple. As described by a member of his own team earlier in the week, Mittens will continue to change positions in the future depending on which way the wind blows. He's the Etch A Sketch man, and as luck would have it, so is Rubio. Romney uses an Etch A Sketch to change positions, and Rubio's mind operates like one. One good shake and Rubio is a man lost with no dictated script to read. "Mom and Dad fled Castro in 1956..." (slight shaking) "..I mean 1959..." (drops Etch A Sketch) "...wait..no..., OH, YOU MEDIA AND YOUR GOTCHA QUESTIONS!"
In sum though, all that really matters is that Romney and Rubio, or fill in the blank, will all be cold, heartless puppets for the powers that be and toe the newer version of the party line:
"The Republican Party: Killing The American Dream Since 1981, And We're Just Getting Started!"
Since that doesn't make much of a sales pitch for the average American who lost a job to say, vulture capitalism and can barely afford a home, food, and transportation, much less a four car elevator in their garage, the GOP is going to need another "Game Change." They sure can't repeat the 2008 version when they tried to make McCain look palatable by throwing in an attractive dim bulb to distract all the men and the PUMAS. That didn't go well, but then what can you expect from a party that has nothing to offer? Well, other than no job, no health care, no hope for women but giving birth until they drop and no way to support the child once it makes it out of the womb, an increase in taxes, oil subsidies for gas you can't afford and endless wars. Oh, and let's don't forget the cherry on top, the next screw you bubble coming from the GOP's Wall Street donors!
The game hasn't changed, except for an even lower tax rate for Mitt Romney and the 1% that votes for him. Only the players have. These two need more than just a makeover. Since the traditional media loves a meme, or a catchy phrase or buzzword like "Bennifer" for celebs, or like "Mittmentum" for politicians who have none, why not combine the two? Something like "Rombio" that's lame enough for out of touch Republicans to get behind....right Wolf?
Good luck with that.