You're Going To Need A Bigger Bottle
Marco Rubio has been pretending to run for President ever since he ran for his Senate seat back in 2010. Today he officially enters the race, and his campaign and the media will work hard to sell him as a "fresh face" (again, he's been a fresh face for about five years now, but sure), a moderate (depends on what your definition of a moderate is), while they tell you he's the GOP's version of Obama (never mind that Rubio and the GOP also claim Obama is the worst President ever....), and that he's smart (as compared to....?) and qualified to talk on the issues.
Well, he's qualified to talk, but that's just about where it ends. After all, there are parrots who are qualified to talk, but that doesn't make them qualified to be President.
Sure, Marco Rubio loves to talk. In fact, it's just about all he does. He's been doing little else other than making speeches for years while trying to sound knowledgable. He's traveled the globe pretending to be a foreign policy expert, while just repeating what the neocons have told him to say. In fact, he's announcing his entry into the race by calling for a "New American Century." If that sounds familiar, it should. Recall the Project For The New American Century of neo-conservative fame, headed by the man famous for being wrong about everything and for bringing us Sarah Palin, Bill Kristol. It was the think tank for all the Bush war neo-cons. (You can refresh your memory on it here.)
But he's a qualified, fresh face? No. He's never had an original thought. He makes speeches. He writes (wink, wink) books. He likes sound bytes and catchy slogans. But most of all, he shills for donations. He's a big fan of helping the GOP manufacture a crisis, followed by scary emails asking for donations to fight said manufactured crisis. It's what he does.
What he doesn't do is spend much time doing his job in Washington. He can be found on the list of Senators who have missed the most votes, many on issues he claims to be "uniquely qualified to talk about." He loves to talk a good game on foreign policy and terrorism, but just try to get him to attend a briefing on the same, and you'll find him absent due to fundraising for his presidential run.
And yes, as with all the Republican Party, he criticizes President Obama. According to "expert" Rubio, there is nothing the President has done that is good. Zero. Zilch. If criticism was a qualification to run the country then Rubio would indeed fit the bill.
I've been going through the Beach Peanuts archives and there are some really big Rubio blunders that even I had forgotten about, so I decided to compile some of his greatest hits here as a reminder on just how unqualified Rubio is. For someone who's been planning his Presidential run for years, Rubio has hit "fail" even before his rollout. He's not waiting until the days after like Ted Cruz and Rand Paul. No sir, Rubio tops them both.
Here now is a look at some of the many, MANY reasons Marco Rubio isn't qualified, nor remotely ready for prime time, some of the things you might not know about his truly extreme views, what he actually stands for, and what he's against.
Smart? Knowledgable? Qualified to be President? You be the judge:
Rubio, on qualifications and experience when running for office: “The republic works and isn’t designed to elect a bunch of experts.”
On the Supreme Court's Citizens United ruling, which opened the floodgates of dark money, and allowed Marco Rubio to embark on his numerous fundraising-fests. He wouldn't be where he is today without it: “Today’s SCOTUS decision … is a victory for free speech.”, and “The best way to ensure our political system is less reliant on money is not to pass laws which infringe on fundamental rights, but rather to elect leaders who value policy and principles over politics and special interests.” (Yes, try to make some sense out of that one, if you can.)
Trying to have it both ways with the stimulus money for high-speed rail in Florida (which was later given away to other states by Rick Scott.)
Marco Rubio's little Republican Party credit card problem had him in the list of big spenders at a "fiscally conservative" $87,000, and placed him under investigation by the IRS and the FBI alongside then RPOF Chairman Jim Greer. Some of Rubio's "expenses" on that credit card: $93,566 in charges including $4,000 for repairs to the Rubio family minivan and a rental car for five weeks, and $134 for a haircut, and double-dipping on travel and resort expenses for his family.
That time when members of his own party were pointing fingers at Marco Rubio’s involvement in spending millions in funds from the State Workers Compensation Trust Fund for a lavish courthouse deemed the “Taj Mahal.”
On guns, laws, and his qualifications for Supreme Court Justices: Rubio added that, if elected, he would take the Second Amendment into consideration when he voted for judges to the Supreme Court of the United States. “It’s not about the laws we pass,” he said. “It’s about the judges.”
Who can forget Marco Rubio's BFF and foreclosure roommate, David Rivera, who he's both supported and run away from, depending on the circumstances at the time.
That time, before he was elected to the U.S. Senate, when Rubio said this:
That time when Rubio proposed to do nothing for his first two years in office if elected to the U.S. Senate. (No, there was no two year recess as he proposed, but that didn't stop him from doing very little once he got there.)
On climate change, Rubio once said "the climate is always changing," and so did his mind when trying to step around his various views on climate change from 2007 to 2010.
While criticizing President Obama at CPAC in 2010, Rubio made an Obama teleprompter joke, which he read from....a teleprompter.
Rubio was endorsed by Dick Cheney in 2010. No doubt he still is, New American Century and all.
Rubio once embraced Jeb Bush's education policies which included tax breaks for rich kids parents.
Comic relief break: Rubio was once stumped by IKEA's return policy.
Rubio tried to appeal to the Tea Party while also fundraising with Wall Street, when he skipped a town hall with the Tea Party and blamed it on the weather. It wasn't the weather. It was because Wall Street was raining money down on Marco.
Some of Rubio's "big ideas" about tax cuts and the "free market."
His 2010 anti-Hispanic agenda, including his English only policy, which wasn't mentioned in his Spanish political ads.
That brings us to 2011 from the Beach Peanuts archives.
More to come in Part Two....