As Floridians struggle to get by without jobs or a decent wage, health care, clean air, water, and the opportunity to vote, it's good to know the Republicans in the legislature have their priorities at heart.
Once again this year, a host of bills to prevent imaginary threats and preserve real ones are making their way through the wingnut navigational channels in Tallahassee.
Sure, you may be drowning in debt because you're jobless, sick, and have fallen into that ever so crowded Medicaid gap that Rick Scott and the GOP carved out for you, but cheer up! The things that really matter are taking priority right now, and they'll get back to you on those minor problems of yours.....well, whenever.
After all, who needs Medicaid when you have unarmed teachers and school employees roaming the halls of your child's elementary school, unarmed students on college campuses, and unarmed individuals during disaster evacuations?
Florida Republicans are also working hard to set up virtual border crossings and passport checks at the doors of public restrooms to keep you safe from any individual identifying as transgender. Just what you'd expect from the party that tried to defund homeland security because they couldn't deport more people: A sexual identification TSA-style setup outside every public bathroom door in Florida? Priorities, people.
If you're low on funds because Rick Scott's new and improved unemployment website still doesn't work, cheer up! Scour those couch cushions for loose change, soon you'll be able to try your luck at another gamble: Casinos! If this gets through you'll have better luck at the slot machines earning money for food than you'll ever have on that benefits website. Good luck!
And finally, no legislative session in Florida would be complete without a few more anti-abortion bills, because when the GOP sets their minds to blocking your health care, they mean business. The fact that they can also excersize more power and control over women is just icing on the cake!
We're less than a week into the session, so who knows what else is on the docket from the crowd whose priorities in the past included protecting goats from strangulation during intercourse and legislation they compared to providing vaccinations against non-existent Sharia law.