Or At Least, That Was The Original Plan
You know the old saying "Two heads are better than one?"
Well, as with many other things in Florida, like counting, that doesn't apply here.
The arrogance and the empty "excuses" given by former beer lobbyist Florida Secretary of State Ken Detzner in a CNN interview today for the voting mess that he, Rick Scott and Republicans caused are stunning.
After spending the past year crafting voter suppression in Florida, and implementing it with mixed results (it didn't deliver the state to Romney in spite of all the problems it caused voters), now they actually expect you to believe it's news to them that this disaster happened.
Really. I wish I were joking.
Detzner actually seems to believe that we all live in an alternate universe along with them, that reality is highly overrated. To accept his explanations, we would have to believe that he and his co-suppressors were blindsided by election laws they changed and policies they put in place specifically in order to keep people from voting wasn't their doing. It defies reality and is an insult to the very voters he, Scott, and Republicans clearly hold in contempt.
Again, it's stunning.
Everything that they have been criticized for, and everything the public and the media repeatedly called on them to undo when they were busy suppressing the vote caused problems as they were intended. Detzner's and Scott's solution? This, for starters:
Scott has since acknowledged the state’s election procedures need to be reformed.
Ya' think? Yes. Those would be the "procedures" THEY JUST PUT IN PLACE to screw up the vote.
Oh, but there's more. How about this one:
It's the local supervisors fault.
Or: All those long lines and voting after 1:45 in the morning and cutting the hours for early voting?
Detzner says that was "flexibility" in action. That was "a success."
Here's another one:
The ballot was really long.
Really Sherlock? And why do you suppose that is?
Or how about this one?
“We were following the law,” Detzner said.
Why, yes you were: Those would be the laws that the powers that be on Planet GOP (That includes you, Mr. Secretary.) wrote, enacted, and put in place.....to make it harder, and in some cases, impossible to vote.
You cannot make this stuff up.
Detzner ended the interview with this:
“I can say that it was a learning experience but we’re listening to constituents ... We could have done better, we will do better. This problem is going to be solved.”
"We could have done better." THAT, you will find in the future over at Wikipedia under the reference to "understatement." (Or if you prefer fantasy, over at Conservipedia under "Freedom" or...."Act Of God" maybe? Who knows? If you're fact-averse, you can take your pick.)
Also, who might those constituents you're listening to be, exactly? Because the Who's down in Who-Ville who were telling you this LONG BEFORE the election were clearly ignored.
I can hardly wait until they "get to work" on this one. Given the fact that Rick Scott is up for reelection in 2014, how will the voting problems be solved exactly? Doing away with voting alltogether, followed by a coronation?
Because as I see it, that's about the only way Gov. Voldemort could possibly remain in office.
And while we're on the subject of the "brilliance" of the Wizarding World over at the Guv's office in Tallahassee, you'll recall that in yesterday's episode, Scott said he would sit down with Detzner to "see what we could improve?"
Memo to Scott: What's to improve? (See above references to "Detzner said," "success," and "flexibility.")
Rick Scott tried to dazzle the press again with his utter incompetence yesterday when he provided a brand new explanation:
"We did the right thing."
Well sure, if the right thing means voter suppression, but I don't think that's what Scott meant. You see, in Rick's world he ALWAYS does the right thing. He's never wrong. It's just the rest of us who seem to have a problem with his sheer genius, his stellar impersonation of one who governs. In other words:
Why were you standing in line at nearly 2:00 in the morning?
Why did you feel the need to vote in the first place?
Don't you have better things to do like.... going to work oops, I mean standing in the unemployment line, oh, wait...
Of course, since "doing the right thing" by making it harder to vote doesn't even pass the laugh test as an answer for the media anymore, the only answer left when they won't accept the really dumb one is this one:
"____________________________________________________________________"
Un-effing-believable.
Watch for yourself:
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